3X Confidence and Authenticity Masterclass Program

This short video is a brief overview of the entire 3X Confidence and Authenticity Masterclass Programme. You'll get to learn some of my background as well as get rundown of the higher level goals that this course aims to achieve.

This session is a broad overview of The 3X Model of Confidence and Authenticity. You'll learn what it is and how it's going to be applied to create a more confident and honest YOU. The 3X Model is the basis of this entire course; it's a simple roadmap that you can refer to at any time to guide you on making decisions that are right for you in the longer term.

It's all about recognizing patterns for successful and confident people, like consistency, enjoyment, unaffectedness (internal self-validation). Also we need to look for the patterns common in people with low self-worth and sabotaging behaviours, like procrastination, inability to manage emotions, being overly-controlling, repeating mistakes, and being unable to accept reality.

The 3X Model is about deconstructing what confidence and authenticity are in terms of beliefs, thought patterns, emotional regulation, and most importantly, behavioural patterns, so that you can follow a structured yet adaptable process.

Confidence is all about understanding your values - who YOU are - and learning to live by them as boldly as possible. This limitless way of living will give you a new perspective of time and action. Instead of worrying about the results and approval from others, The 3X Model steers you towards integrity and self-worth.

You may not fully understand how to apply it after this session, that will come over time as you put it into practice. This is just to give you an understanding of what it is so that you'll be prepared for the rest of the course.

Written resources and an article to further your understanding of the video content.

Part 1 of our discussion about the first main phase of The 3X Model: Explore.

What is Exploration? It is the phase of the 3X Model where we choose to live by the value of Curiosity. In this class we look at what this means and it's practical application – how to find the truth amongst the noise that is life.

You'll learn how to use the core value of Curiosity to rid yourself of assumptions, expectations and other unhelpful mental barriers. You'll also learn a powerful methodology for observing reality and using this to make effective plans.

We'll also look at the enemies of Curiosity, like assumptions, impatience and the needy desire to win. Removing these barriers to confidence is crucial, particularly if you're enthusiastic about living in a truthful way. We must remove the lies before we can discover what the truth might be.

This lesson will help you with the problems that come from too much time spent in this phase as well, like people who don't take action because of over-thinking and worrying about what others think.

Part 2 of the Explore Phase.

Complete write-up of the Explore phase, as well as an article on managing expectations and some exclusive recordings of the Confidence Mindset Inner Circle sessions on expectations and "mind reading".

Part 1 of our discussion into the Engage Phase of The 3X Model.

What is Engaging all about? It is the part of The 3X Model where we live by the Value of Honesty. In this session we have a look at what it means to Engage in Honest actions, and we'll focus on the practical application; how to take courageous and genuine actions aligned with your values.

Taking action is how we learn, through testing and experimentation. You cannot have changes, progress or external results without action, and for those actions to suit who YOU are they must be HONEST actions. By this we mean actions based on what is true about you, and what is most helpful for you in the long run (living by your values).

Life is an interaction with the world; neglecting this interaction is harmful and leads to an unhelpfully self-centred focus. So you can choose to engage regularly rather than allowing yourself to become a helpless spectator. Taking action, uncomfortable action in particular, allows you to build resilience. The more you experience, the tougher you become psychologically, leading to the truly confident mindset of “I can handle anything”.

This lesson is about being able to believe this one day because you'll have proven it to yourself through honest actions.

Part 2 of our discussion about the Engage Phase.

Part 3 of our discussion about the Engage Phase.

Complete write-up on the Engage Phase, with homework exercises. I've also included my most popular podcast interview on People Pleasing (i.e. fake behaviour), and a couple of articles that will assist you in becoming a more honest integral person.

Part 1 of our discussion on the final part of The 3X Model; the Release Phase. In this often-neglected phase we learn how to heal, measure and create space to allow information to come to us. This is the pause between action and planning, where we allow the Universe to give us feedback while we rest.

What is Releasing? It's about giving yourself and the world a chance to participate fully, through living by the Value of Respect. In this session we'll talk about this often-neglected phase of The 3X Model, the phase which allows you to heal, measure, reflect, listen, and clear your mind for the next step. For the practical application we'll cover how to reflect, learn, and free yourself from attachment to outcomes (e.g. caring what others think of you).

When you pause to create space, your mind will start purging all expired information. This allows reality to give you new information, which will help you be as prepared as you can be to deal with any situation. This new information often comes in the form of feedback; a kind of measurement about how well you are doing from a more objective perspective.

We'll look at why rest and recuperation are vital to health and focus, and how allowing yourself time for this to happen is a form of self-respect. Releasing proves to yourself that you are worthy by your own standards. It is also crucially helpful to making progress. Releasing allows mistakes and unhelpful patterns to be recognised early, so that you can intervene before they become insurmountable. It also allows others to contribute to your life through participation and feedback.

Most importantly, releasing encourages the short-term pain to occur (e.g. realizations), which reduces the likelihood of long-term suffering (e.g. regret). Learning to live this way is the focus of this lesson.

Part 2 of our discussion on the Release Phase.

Complete write-up on the Release Phase, with homework exercises. I've also included a vulnerable article I wrote about a time I burned out from neglecting this phase, and my favourite guided meditation resource to help train your ability to Release.

Part 1 of an exploration into what it means to live by your Core Values. Confidence and authenticity all boils down to your ability to live by your values, it's as simple as that. In this session we look at how to figure out what your core values are, and what it means to live by them in the real world. Once you figure this out, you'll be set for life and no-one will be able to mess with your confidence ever again!

Together we'll look at how you are born with a basic sense of your values, deep down. These are then distorted and covered with lies and fear as you grow up, based on your misunderstandings and the beliefs others impose on you.

Living by your core values is the secret to waking up each day feeling awesome. If you can live by your values you will find your self-worth increase every single day.

Not living by your values sends a message internally that you are not good enough. Choosing to step away from your values is like avoiding whatever it is that makes you YOU, making it somehow bad and wrong. It's time to stop sending yourself this message.

It is an action-evidenced motive, pointing you towards how to live the RIGHT way (for you). Values are not goals. They can never be completed like a goal, and do not require anyone or anything but you. You can live by values in prison or as a slave, alone or in a crowd. Values are not determined by your thoughts or emotions. You do not need to be thinking the “right” thoughts or feel like you're in the “right” mood. You just need to ACT RIGHT.

In this lesson you'll learn the core competency of confidence: the art of living by your values, which is most commonly known as INTEGRITY.

Part 2 of our session on Core Values.

Complete write-up on Core Values, including a simple exercise to figure out your values and homework exercises. I've included two more of the exclusive Inner Circle sessions, one on values and another on how to use confrontations to stop people from pushing your value boundaries.

In this session we attack the biggest barrier between You and Confidence: Shame. Shame is the sensation of there being something "wrong" with you. In this session we will look at what shame is, where it comes from, and how to become shameless. Once you get to a stage where you have no shame, you will become limitless.

Shame is your only true barrier to confidence. A completely shameless state, mythical as it may be, would be devoid of self-loathing and uncertainty. Shamelessness is about not just accepting reality but OWNING it; unapologetically being the person you are, without deception, minimisation or any other form of dishonesty.

Without shame people will have nothing to use against you. Shame is a vampire, it evaporates when exposed to sunlight, so the key is about removing it piece by piece by exposing it to the world. There are three forms of shamelessness, with each one being more powerful than the previous, and we'll explore all of these together in this lesson.

Complete write-up on Shame, with a helpful exercise called The Shame Grid. I've included a racy video of me walking around in public dressed as a fairy to prove that public humilitation doesn't really exist, and one of my favourite Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) exercises called "I'm Not Good Enough".

Part 1 of a discussion about the concept of Limiting Beliefs. Most self-development enthusiasts have a basic understanding that their only barriers exist inside their heads. In this session we look at how beliefs can hold you back from what you truly want, and how such unhelpful beliefs are formed. We will look at the concept of breaking rules - undoing the damage of these beliefs by proving them wrong and opening up new possibilities. Or, another way to put it; learning how to overcome fear!

What is fear? Ultimately the discomfort we are talking about is most commonly described as Fear. Sensations based on a “Fight or Flight” response are designed, it would seem, to protect us; to arm us in times of need when our lives are in danger. However, these sensations are not always called for and occur to us whenever we feel even remotely threatened. So the question becomes: is all fear helpful all the time?

In this lesson we'll look at how fear is not an uncontrollable demand. You do not have to obey the impulse to flee or battle. We become so used to moving away from fear that we don't stop to ask ourselves if we have to. All of the fight or flight sensations you experience during fear do not prevent you from taking action, they simply make you feel uncomfortable.

Once you understand that you do not need to let this feeling own your decision-making, a whole world of possibility opens up.

Part 2 of our discussion into Limiting Beliefs.

Complete write-up on Limiting Beliefs with homework exercises. I've included a couple of articles that talk about pain and fear, and how to reframe these concepts into something that helps you. Also, another Inner Circle session on using Goal Setting techniques to overcome fears one small step at a time.

In this session we look at a mysterious concept known as Psychological Flexibility. Described by Dr Russ Harris as "holding your beliefs lightly", Psychological Flexibility is about becoming adaptable to reality so that you're never left behind. Imagine being able to bounce back from all upsets and let-downs without being harmed!

Psychological flexibility is essentially about letting go of right vs wrong, and instead embracing the concept of helpful vs unhelpful. In this session we have a look at how expectations reduce happiness, and use the process of 'defusion' to check in with reality.

Those who adapt survive, those who don't… well, they don't. We are ALWAYS incorrect; we search for the truth but never find it because there is always a deeper level of truth. It's those who keep searching that survive. When you stop looking because you think you've found the final answer, you are already being left behind.

In this lesson we'll talk about how we can manage expectations so that we can learn to control our satisfaction with life (what people often refer to as 'happiness'). When we start to think that something “should” or “should not” happen, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. This is because nothing is ever guaranteed, the Universe is simply too random. We let go of pointless expectations by looking for what is real right now.

Most importantly, we'll look at the art of defusion. By making contact with reality, through zooming away from our thoughts and feelings until we can observe them in a detached way, we relieve ourselves of the suffering caused by the non-stop chatter of our minds.

Complete write-up on Psychological Flexibility as well as a video on how to use the powerful technique of "defusion" to find reality when life feels chaotic.

Part 1 of a session on the more straight-forward "how to" side of confidence building. While you build your own confidence and find your own version of authenticity, sometimes it's helpful to just be told what to do. I usually help people find their own answers, but if you're struggling for ideas on how to implement your new-found confidence, here's a range of activities that work well for me and my clients.

Some of the concepts we'll look at include:

• skepticism training
• empathy training
• "Quantum Parts"
• meeting new people
• vulnerability
• journaling
• meditation
• value-based self-worth measurement

And many more! This will help you put The 3X Model into action in your everyday life in such a way that you'll be able to measure the positive changes immediately.

Part 2 with more Confidence Building practical tips, techniques and exercises.

Summary write-up of all the tips we've discussed, as well as access to the Menprovement Academy programme I created called "Endless Confidence". A while ago I also wrote some articles on specific confidence actions I've researched, and they're included here to add to your confidence arsenal.

Part 1 of how to apply The 3X Model to mastering your social world. If you want to create meaningful, deep and exciting connections with other people, without being fake or trying to impress them, this is the session that could rock your whole world.

In this one we will talk about how to use your values to guide you towards filtering people into a good fit as well as never having to worry about what to say next. Great for friendships, dating and building a family.

In this lesson we are going to cover a blueprint for conversation that can be used for every interaction you ever have, from complete strangers to your closest friends. You'll learn that you don't have to hide things from people, and that rejection does not actually exist.

Part 2 of using The 3X Model to create more meaningful connections socially.

Includes the complete exclusive workbook from the Brojo Creating Meaningful Conversations Workshop. I've also added my favourite articles on building new connections, as well as a video on how to initiate conversations with strangers (without fake-ness or small talk), and my complete podcast interview with Menprovement on Social Confidence.

How you act determines how you feel, and vice versa. One of the quickest shortcuts to social confidence is learning to hold yourself, talk, and move in a POWERFUL way. This isn't not "fake it 'til you make it", or pretending to be confident. This is actually about using your body to create charisma which will give you genuine feelings of certainty, power and stability.

Based on rock-solid confidence-building science. This also comes with a video on confident speaking tips, and a great TED talk from Amy Cuddy, a guru of modern body language research.