The Psychology Of Persuasion & Influence

In this introductory lecture Phil explains what he's going to cover in this course, and how it can help with developing relationships.

In this lecture Phil gives his background including his degree in psychology, his experience at Proctor & Gamble, founding his own advertising agency and growing it to £48m per year turnover. Now he's an independent speaker and talks around the world on the topics of Persuasion & Influence.

In this lecture Phil covers the first 3 psychological drivers:

1. To feel loved
2. To feel important
3. To feel that you belong

He also talks about the "universal killer question" and why it is important.

In this lecture Phil talks about the human need for people to believe in something, and why it's important. 

He mentions the flawed belief in two-leg football matches that it's best to play the away leg first, and the home leg second. 

He talks about how you need to separate opinions and fact when it comes to beliefs.

Phil explains why some people need different levels of certainty and uncertainty, and how a balance is needed for everyone. He gives the key question you need to ask to unravel people's needs.

Phil explains why people have a fundamental need for growth, be it in terms of money, happiness and many other things. Unlocking these desires helps understand how you what people really want and how you can give it to them. 

With this final psychological driver Phil explains people's need for a place, sums up the other 6 drivers and how you can ask the key questions to unlock people's desires.

In this lecture Phil explains how you form first impressions and three top tips for forming good ones from his time at Harvard: Eye contact, handshake & using the name.

In this lecture Phil explains how he accidentally ran 65 yards of the London Marathon with a couple bottles of wine and a lasagne!

More importantly he goes onto explain how every conversation works, the three components and the need to form a cabal with someone. 

In this lecture Phil explains why dolphins jump through hoops and the most persuasive expressions you can use to get people to do it for you:

1. "I'll tell you what I like about you......"
2. Tell people what they're good at
3. Catch people doing something right

In this lecture Phil explains the single most important thing you can do to help and improve a relationship. 

He explains how Roger the golf pro let him down and why "people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care".

In this lecture Phil covers Robin Dunbar's 150 friends theory, and the order of enagagements:

1. Ritual and cliche
2. Events
3. Judgements
4. Ideas
5. Love

He also talks about the importance of the number 7. For example the maximum number of people for a conversation, or the maximum number of people a single person can manage. 

In this lecture Phil talks about how some of the accepted rules of communication are simply not true, and he stresses that if you body language is not consistent with what you're saying, people won't believe what you're saying. 

One key trick is to look for is that people who are lying don't blink. 

In this lecture Phil talks about the difference between Intent and Impact, and why you need to be careful to understand the difference, particularly on email. 

In this lecture Phil explains how sometimes a single word can make all the difference. 

For example the key difference between:

1. Can I have your number?
2. Whats the best number to get you on?

In this lecture Phil covers the importance of key words in conversations such as: "honest", "actually", "because", "real", "normally" and "open-minded".

They're all TNT - "Tiny Noticeable Things".

In this lecture Phil explains why 'Good Cop / Bad Cop' works and how it can be applied in reality. How to use "When you say...." and the importance of asking more questions.

In this lecture Phil explains how to deal with complaints and gives an example of how to use 'the role of devastation'.

In this lecture Phil explains the fundamental principles of absorbing objections, how to use agreements to move forward and using hypothetical questions.

In this lecture Phil talks about how its important to become part of the solution even if you are part of the problem. 

Thinking "me and you together"

In this lecture Phil explains how constructive criticism is important and how you can make it easier to deliver. His golden rules:

1. Don't call it constructive criticism
2. Give of yourself first
3. And then how about you?

In this lecture Phil explains some techniques to avoid difficult situations and the impact on reputation. 

Phil's equation is: Reputation is equal to the experience had with you, minus what they expected of you.

He stresses the importance in business of doing what you say you're going to do. 

In this lecture Phil gives you examples of what happens when relationships go wrong using examples of The Roman Empire, The Beatles & The Titanic. 
He explains how greed and complacency can damage and break relationships. 

In this lecture Phil talks about how companies and relationships follow similar paths. How things can "drift" if you don't stay on top of things. 
He explains why you need to look for the 'one thing' to improve things in any relationship. 

In this lecture Phil explains how you can still improve even the best relationships, and how you can't allow things to become 'standard' or 'normal'. 

How one-off inconsistent gestures such as hand-written notes can make the biggest difference.

In this lecture Phil covers the 4 key ingredients to generate trust:

• Honesty
• Expertise
• Reliability
• Self-interest

In this lecture Phil explains some techniques to improve meetings and contact by asking the right questions, and being interested in other people.

In this lecture Phil explains how to use the technique of 'linear probing' to demonstrate an interest in people to understand them better. 

In this lecture Phil explains the importance of 'small acts of kindness' - that is doing something without expecting anything in return.